#003 - The Hand of Friendship
Deliberately growing relationships and through that helping others to flourish anew.
Developing and appreciating a greater sense of meaningful relationships.
Knowing they have made a real difference in your life, and what that means to you, can be the greatest gift you can give someone. Giving it to them is special, and it can bless both of you at a deeper, more spiritual, level.
The fact is, you have touched so many people in so many ways that you (and they) don’t realise. We go through life taking so much for granted that we (and they) don’t think about it. And therefore, we don’t mention it.
It may simply be that you knew you could rely on them, or that you didn’t need to worry that you could trust their opinion. Or that they tend to put a positive spin on things. Or if someone is in trouble, you know they will be there. Or their humour lightens the mood. Or they always have a smile.
And you take it for granted because you think “well that is just them, that’s who they are”. But as you know for yourself, sometimes that may be who we are, but it still takes an effort, right?
Hold someone in your heart
Simply pick someone, whose qualities and/or actions you appreciate, and think about what that enables for you that wouldn’t be easy if they weren’t that way.
Just make a short list. And hold the list, and think about them. And in your heart, for a moment, deliberately feel gratitude for them. Dwell in that place, that feeling, thanking them in your heart, and wishing them well.
Tell them what they mean to you
Follow the green path, and determine to let that person know what you were thinking.
Maybe, simply tell them that you were doing this exercise, and it was them that came to mind, and you just wanted to let them know that.
Please, don’t get cringey. And don’t front it out. Just be honest and sincere. Put up with the fact that it is embarrassing, and that the emotions are difficult.
Frankly, the truth is, I struggle to do it without crying — seriously — my eyes run! But that is where it touches us spiritually.
Begin to make it a habit
Put fifteen minutes in your diary each month as a recurring appointment with yourself. And in those fifteen minutes, think back over all the connections you have had with other people that month.
Then do a green or a blue path for someone in those connections.
You may find the following resources helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop
Brene Brown’s very popular and insightful TED talk on authenticity and vulnerability https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability
Hannah Brencher’s uplifting talk on reaching out to appreciate strangers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVFVaWCV1TE
Linkedin article on an ‘Attitude of Gratitude’ and thanking people: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/attitude-gratitude-mike-clargo/
An extension of this Adventure can be found in John Stepper’s work on Working Out Loud: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOpgtC1JEzY
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Useful links:
Introduction to Leading by Adventure | What we mean by spirituality? | Why Adventure
Adventures to date | I did it, but it didn’t work very well | How do I know if it is working
Bringing this thinking into your meetings | Adventure & Mental Health
Leading by Adventure community | Explore Strategic Support options
#leadingbyadventure #selfimprovement #relationship #openness #affirmation
